Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt

Men
Size Guide

Size Chart

SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 17.25 in 25.5 in
M 19.25 in 26 in
L 21.25 in 27 in
XL 23.25 in 28 in
2XL 25.25 in 28.5 in
3XL 27.25 in 29 in
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 43.8 cm 64.8 cm
M 48.9 cm 66 cm
L 54 cm 68.6 cm
XL 59 cm 71 cm
2XL 64 cm 71.8 cm
3XL 69.2 cm 73.7 cm
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 76.2 cm 78.7 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 83.8 cm
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 73.7 cm 81.3 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 83.8 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 86.4 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 40.6 cm 52 cm
YS 43.2 cm 55.9 cm
YM 45.7 cm 59.7 cm
YL 48.6 cm 63.5 cm
YXL 50.8 cm 67.3 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 40.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 45.7 cm 71 cm
M 50.8 cm 73.6 cm
L 55.9 cm 76.2 cm
XL 61 cm 78.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 83.8 cm
3XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 14 in 27 in
S 15 in 27.5 in
M 16 in 28 in
L 17 in 28.5 in
XL 18 in 29 in
2XL 19 in 29.5 in
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 35.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 38 cm 69.8 cm
M 40.6 cm 71.1 cm
L 43.2 cm 72.4 cm
XL 45.7 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 48.3 cm 74.9 cm
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 14 in 17 in
YM 16 in 19.5 in
YL 18.75 in 23 in
YXL 20.5 in 24.5 in
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 35.5 cm 43.2 cm
YM 40.6 cm 49.5 cm
YL 47.6 cm 58.4 cm
YXL 52.1 cm 62.2 cm
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
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Estimated arrival: Place your order today (standard shipping method) to receive the product(s) within May 09 - May 15

🎄 Christmas Cutoff: Order by Dec 10th to receive before Christmas. 🎁

May 06

May 07 - May 09

May 09 - May 15

SKU: 9VI5Z4U7 Categories: ,

In a cinematic world filled with casual viewers, the Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt is reserved for the true cinephiles. The ones who don’t just love film; they live and breathe it, collect it. This shirt is for the collectors who aren’t afraid to declare their obsession, tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Biggest Slut in the Criterion Closet: A Shirt for the Film Buffs Who Own It 

The shirt’s design is clean, minimalist and looks like the covers of many Criterion Collection. Bold black text proudly announces: Biggest Slut in the Criterion Closet across the chest. Below it, a simple illustration of a delivery truck is emblazoned with the words :The Criterion Closet in matching type.

Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt 1
Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt

The phrase taps into an ongoing meme and niche internet joke about The Criterion Closet where a storage space at the Criterion offices containing their entire collection of titles, occasionally visited by filmmakers, critics, or fans who film videos showcasing their picks.

The genius of this shirt is that it manages to both poke fun at and celebrate film snobbery. You’re not just showing off your love for film, but you’re admitting that you’re completely helpless against the allure of boutique cinema packaging.

If you’re a film geek with a sense of humor, the Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt belongs in your wardrobe. It’s perfect for movie nights, film festivals, or casual flexes at theater. Add it to your cart now. After all, the next flash sale is just around the corner, and your closet deserves another masterpiece.

 

How long does it take for my order to arrive?

  • We need 3 - 5 business days to process your order and send it out (not including weekend and holidays)
  • Your order will arrive approximately 5-7 business days after it's shipped (except wooden products). We use different shipping partners, but the final delivery is usually via USPS.
  • For international orders please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. The final delivery is usually via your local postal service.

Shipping time for 3D Printed Products:

  • United shipping time: 7-14 Business days
  • International Shipping time: 15-20 Business days

Shipping time for Canvas Wall Art:

Economy

  • $7.99 for order price under 50$
  • $9.99 for order price over 50$ and under 100$
  • $14.99 for order price over 10$ and under 200$
  • Free shipping for order price over 200$

Ground

  • $16.95 for order price under 49$
  • $21.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $29.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $49.95 for order price over 140$

2 Day

  • $24.95 for order price under 49$
  • $34.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $49.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $79.95 for order price over 140$

Overnight

  • $49.95 for order price under 49$
  • $59.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $89.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $139.95 for order price over 140$

Here’s how we break down our shipping prices:

  • $7.99 for order price under $49.99
  • $9.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
  • $14.99  for orders from $100 to $199.99
  • Free Shipping for orders over $200
Shipping time for Items shipping internationally (UK, CA, AU):
  • $9.99 for an order price under $49.99
  • $14.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
  • $16.99 for orders from $100 to $199.99
  • $18.99 for orders from $200 to $399.99
  • Free ship for orders over $400