Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down Shirt

Men
Size Guide

Size Chart

SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 17.25 in 25.5 in
M 19.25 in 26 in
L 21.25 in 27 in
XL 23.25 in 28 in
2XL 25.25 in 28.5 in
3XL 27.25 in 29 in
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 43.8 cm 64.8 cm
M 48.9 cm 66 cm
L 54 cm 68.6 cm
XL 59 cm 71 cm
2XL 64 cm 71.8 cm
3XL 69.2 cm 73.7 cm
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 76.2 cm 78.7 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 83.8 cm
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 73.7 cm 81.3 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 83.8 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 86.4 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 40.6 cm 52 cm
YS 43.2 cm 55.9 cm
YM 45.7 cm 59.7 cm
YL 48.6 cm 63.5 cm
YXL 50.8 cm 67.3 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 40.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 45.7 cm 71 cm
M 50.8 cm 73.6 cm
L 55.9 cm 76.2 cm
XL 61 cm 78.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 83.8 cm
3XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 14 in 27 in
S 15 in 27.5 in
M 16 in 28 in
L 17 in 28.5 in
XL 18 in 29 in
2XL 19 in 29.5 in
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 35.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 38 cm 69.8 cm
M 40.6 cm 71.1 cm
L 43.2 cm 72.4 cm
XL 45.7 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 48.3 cm 74.9 cm
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 14 in 17 in
YM 16 in 19.5 in
YL 18.75 in 23 in
YXL 20.5 in 24.5 in
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 35.5 cm 43.2 cm
YM 40.6 cm 49.5 cm
YL 47.6 cm 58.4 cm
YXL 52.1 cm 62.2 cm
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
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May 26 - May 30

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Every married man has heard the phrase “you better not say that”. The Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down Shirt captures a legendary moment of fearless (read: foolish) optimism that many have attempted
 and few have survived.

When Logic Meets Danger: The Boldest (and Dumbest) Move in Marital History

This black t-shirt features a bold white serif font across the chest, with the satirical headline: “Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down,” paired with The Babylon Bee’s signature logo, hinting at its tongue-in-cheek journalistic origins. The minimalist design makes the joke land even harder clean, confident, and dangerously smug.

Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down Shirt 1
Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down Shirt

Borrowing from The Babylon Bee’s knack for highlighting absurd social dynamics through faux headlines, this shirt satirizes the comedic peril of male confidence in conflict resolution. Instead, it has become an internet meme and cultural inside joke that this shirt wears proudly, much like its hypothetical wearer might wear a bruise from a flying pillow.

Whether you’re a fan of satire, an agent of chaos, or just enjoy pushing your luck, the Man Brilliantly Defuses Argument By Telling Wife To Calm Down Shirt is a hilariously risky conversation starter. Gift it to a brave friend or wear it to your own peril but either way, get it before your spouse sees the receipt.

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  • We need 3 - 5 business days to process your order and send it out (not including weekend and holidays)
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  • For international orders please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. The final delivery is usually via your local postal service.

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  • International Shipping time: 15-20 Business days

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Overnight

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Here’s how we break down our shipping prices:

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